Ding ding ding, Round 1, FIGHT!

I often use the phrase "I was lucky", seems kind of funny to say anything about Cancer is lucky, but there are a lot of factors that contribute to me feeling this way.
 The biggest factor is that I am still alive, I am here to tell my story, some of my family and closest friends parents have lost their battle with the C word, and its heartbreaking, so for this reason, "I am lucky".
The next major factor would be that I had treatment at one of the best specialist oncology hospitals in Europe The Royal Marsden Hospital, by an amazing team of Professors and Doctors. http://www.royalmarsden.nhs.uk/pages/home.aspx



For this "I am lucky", I could have just been referred to the local hospital to have my treatment carried out, but I still believe things happen for a reason and because the type of cancer they found in my cervix was not the most common type of cancer found in this area a team of specialists took an interest in my case. This lead to my transfer to The Royal Marsden, which also meant very little waiting time, within about a week of finding out I had cancer I had my first appointment with my Surgeon and a plan was being created for my care.

My first appointment was with a wonderful man named Dr John Butler and an amazing nurse Olive Griffiths. Walking through the doors of the Marsden for the first time was a bizarre experience, I know I felt nervous, but remember, nurse Heidi is in the drivers seat by now! I remember passing people through the hospital thinking, "Poor things, I wonder what cancer they have, how horrible, they must feel so scared and they are so young!"  Not considering for one minute that I am one of 'those' people, and I was actually one of the youngest.

Dr Butler and Olive were extremely welcoming, calming and warm, which was just what was needed. Mark and I sat, listened and realistically probably took in every third word that they said.  None of the words that were being said frazzled me, because I knew all the medical terminology. Mark was understandably tense, but I just nodded until a particular question was asked. I was like, "Shit, spark up Heid it's a very intense personal question, you'll have to take this one!" Nurse Heidi took a break for a moment.
Dr Butler has been through the facts about where we are at with the information we currently have. I have cancer in the cervix, but the type of cells aren't often found in the area they were in, so looks like we are going to take a 3 pronged approach, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation!
Then he hits me with, "Radiotherapy will be a major component in us beating this cancer, I guess what we need to establish before anything else goes ahead, are you happy with your family as it is?"
Ummm.......... what? What did he just say? Ummm...........sorry, what?
Marks already answering and then nurse Heidi stands up again and pats me on the back, sit down luv, you're alright, I'll get it!
I tune back in Dr Butler and Mark are talking "The radiotherapy, as it will be focused in the female reproductive area, will hit the ovaries and you will be unable to have more children."
Mark speaks up first "Well if that's what happens and it means I still have Heidi around then lets start now!" And I chime in " Yes, we wanted more children, but I need to just focus on the healthy, beautiful blessings I have now and get through this....alive".

Its funny how your initial instincts are always right....but doesn't mean they are always the easiest. My head was saying go ahead with what you know will give you the best odd's for an outcome which involves me still being around for my husband and babies, my heart is screaming (quietly) say no, say no, we want more babies, tell them, we have actually been trying, maybe they can........ Nurse Heidi bops emotion on the head, 'snap out of it'. And there starts the internal struggle that I will carry with me, always.

I have now been told that first things first, there will be an operation to just have a look around inside and see what we are actually dealing with. So the next day, I am back in hospital for my first procedure. This doesnt' phase me at all, once again I guess this is another time I say "I am lucky", I am a peri operative nurse, so going into theatre I actually feel quite calm, cracking jokes with the staff and Dr Butler asking me if I want a job when I have finished beating cancer! (really did love that man!)
First procedure down.........unfortunately turned out that I was in for a lot more than I had originally hoped, but still I choose to fight!